don't know why i had such a follow-through-fail with this caption contest idea. really appreciated all the feedback last spring. i won't be doing this quarterly, considering. perhaps annually. which means i've got until february to draw another wtf? cartoon with no caption. whew.
in the meantime, the WINNER!...
"Here, monster, monster, don't be scared, you can watch."
i need to declare a winner for this shit. i need help deciding. heh.
caption contest spring 2009
"your caption goes here!"
how does it work?
why? this is a chance for you to flex your creative muscle. that said, don't think too hard and have fun. this is also an opportunity to participate more fully in the New PolyAnna, to be silly, and to show off for her.
what? there are no restrictions on what you write (or how many times you enter!), but think succint. (note: although there are no restrictions on language or the wide variety of possible directions you could go with this, if your caption violates my moral sensibility, i retain the right to make fun of you.)
when? i plan to do one of these for every season, spring, summer, fall, winter. the closing date for submitting entries will coincide with the astronomical solstices and equinoxes and the seasons of the northern hemisphere. the closing date for this contest is 21 March 2009.
how? click on "post a comment" and type your caption. be sure to include your name. if an anonymous post wins, the author will lose out on the glory of having helped write one of the New PolyAnna blogtoons. and that would be sad.
who? you, silly! now start captioning.
I. Multiple Choice
1. The beginning _______ the end.
d. coordinate, like last year's leg warmer craze
2. The grass is always greener
a. on the other side of the fence.
b. on the other side of town, across the railroad tracks, in the gated communities.
c. in the Easter bunny’s basket.
d. except when it’s browner.
3. There are two sides to everything,
a. while some things have many more sides than that.
b. except, by definition, the point.
c. including your mother’s heart.
d. that is material, a material possession, or simply, possessed.
4. Look on the brighter side;
a. half of the Earth sees it at least half of the time.
b. if enlightenment doesn’t blind you, maybe you’ll see something—pink elephants with kazoos, for example.
c. avoid high electric bills.
d. then hear, touch, taste, feel on the darker side.
II. True or False
____Cats are better than dogs.
____Dogs are better than cats.
____Cogs and Dats are the best of all.
____Hail does not count as ‘raining cats and dogs.’
____Brown sugar tastes better than white fur.
III. Write your own aphorism (using only and all of the following words):
If you look at the scoring before completing the test, you fail; when you count your chickens before they hatch everyone else in the room hates you.
If you circled ‘C’ anywhere on the test, you fail; ‘C’ is the most cliché multiple choice answer.
If you wrote your own answer to any of questions one through four, extra points, but only if you marked your invented answer as choice ‘E’; the world must have some order.
If you marked more than two of the True/False prompts as true, you fail; too much truth can kill you.
If you used only and all of the words provided to write your own aphorism, extra points. If you used more or fewer words than those provided, you must have a neighbor grade this portion, and he/she has the right to pass/fail you; breaking the rules or stepping outside of the rhetorical situation demands the understanding and approval of an audience.
If you blew off the test altogether, you are an aphoristic genius; there’s only so much time to linger in a field of jonquils  .
 Also known as the “rush-leaved daffodil.”